OK part of the title of this post was a lie.
Do you remember that ex-boyfriend of that friend of yours. You remember the one, he was always changing his behaviour, acting differently under different circumstances. He was really nice to her when they were alone, but he was a bit of prat when he was around his friends. Yeah you remember him.
My IBS is a bit like that. Except that it's a prat all the time, it's just a different sort of prat when it's friend Aunty Flo comes to visit and behaves as though it were a completely different condition. Gone is the constipation/diarrhoea alternating combination. Instead we have almost normal motions. I say almost normal, these motions come with an interesting side effect, what I like to think of as the Lamborghini effect. For those who are not familiar with fast cars (I include myself in this group, I had to Google this) the Lamborghini can go from 0mph to over 60mph in 4 seconds.
This is what my bowels like to do when Aunty Flo is around. They all get into her lovely Lamborghini and are just sat there relaxing. I'm totally calm and unaware when suddenly they make a bolt for it. In the space of a few seconds I've gone from not needing the loo at all to needing it so desperately I almost have to do that half crouched running to the loo dance.
The only positive thing I can say about this is that, unlike my IBS symptoms the rest of the time, this is at least predictable so I can prepare for it. Unfortunately it means that my activities on the days when I'm on my period are pretty limited.
So there you have it, another one of the joys of being an IBS sufferer.
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